The vicious cycle of stupid love

We all have to admit in ourselves, that there was a time in our life that we labeled ourselves as "Stupid". The time were you've done this 'Thing', enjoying it for awhile... then after a minute you discovered that 'That Thing' made you dumbfounded about yourself? An example to that, you saw this really nice appliance in the TV, You decided to buy it without realizing how you would use it and what would you use it for, So you already bought it... It took you awhile to get used to this 'machine', then it started to be handy and fun, but when it actually malfunctions even when you try to fix it it does not work, you get so frustrated that you would throw it away.. A few weeks later you saw another appliance and the horrible cycle starts again. Same goes for relationships now a days.

The Vicious/Torture Cycle

That awful time when you fall for someone and this really heart-throbbing, mouth watering (A.N: ???!!!!), Heart stopping, Ground breaking moment where you actually feel like your in heaven. Of course, It doesn't always start there..

This is the love cycle, With descriptions (Accurate):

Part 1: Strangers (les étrangers)

Every part of a cheesy love story and cliche romance story part, you've heard of this and has been in this stage alot of times (Not even for romance purpose). This is when you guys haven't met each other yet, complete strangers. That person barely knows your name. So this is already self explanatory.

Part 2; Friendship (amitié)

indianapublicmedia.org

Friendship, This is the stage where most people really have "Real" friendship or some nasty friendship that wants to lead them in the wrong way of friendship which i often called "Flirtation-ship". Friendship is a wonderful thing/stage. This is the time when both parties actually gets to know each other... Although some people these days tends to neglect this part and pushes further.  This is where you get to know each other and this is where feelings might change into 2 sorts of Love; Brotherly/sisterly love or Romantic love.

This is where most drama begins... The drama called "Friendzone"

Friendzone; A dramatic stage of one person's life in which his/her love is too one sided, for the other party only feels of that person as a friend and not as a romantic interest. 

Although, Some people would actually be as fast as the speed of light... neglecting the beauty of friendship and pushes the other party to Romance/ love.

This usually happens now a days, in which people would just use cellphone or the web to communicate and after 2 days (Even for one day) they actually confess to you that they have fallen for you yet you've just met.

But to summaries this all, Friendship should be a part where you get to know each other, don't take this for granted because this is the way to determined correct decisions.

Part 3: The lover (l'amant)

www.Maati.tv

This stage is where the sweet and fun stuff happen, all the love, cloud nine's, Smiles and all the laughter is..

Generally from the short film 'Strangers, Again" from WongFu Productions (A.N; I am a fan. PFFT)

Anyways this is where the sweet stuff begins... Picture taking, dating, going to places, hand in hand.. Then making promises... Swearing their love will never last.. (A.N; I know. I've been there...)

Now there only 2 roads where they will only be going to... From the 'Sweet' Zone we knew then heaidng to either of the two 'roads' i'll be saying in the comfort zone.

The Good Comfort Zone and The Bad one.

The good comfort zone is when both of them will be gradually okay with each other, They still have fun with their companionship and everything else is normal and nice.This might lead to the happy ending. :)

Then there is the bad comfort, which everyone knows...

This is the road where the two of you might take each other for granted... When she calls you on the phone and you happen to play basketball, you saw your phone ringing but you didn't answer it because 'You thought your girlfriend will understand and you'll just fake a lie saying.. "Sorry [Your Pet Name From her (I.e Baby, Love, Babe..)] I didn't see my phone.. I was busy playing basketball with my friends" 

From this point onward, things gets further worse. 

You take each other for granted, you defend your own ego, you fight because you know your right.

Or because, you don't want to love him/her anymore.

One lover can never grow hate to their own partner, There are only two feelings from this stage might happen... Love, Another chance to make a stronger relationship... Or Apathy, The time you lost your interest and make excuses to get out of this relationship.

And once you've said goodbye's... Days and months, you'd feel like you want things back and make it right only to have your 'Normal' life when she/he was there. It would sound desperate but this happens. Mostly, some of them would rant each other backs, destroying one another with words and some, never met ever again.

After this one.. When hearts are healed, there are only two roads... To be friends again... Or to be strangers.

'Strangers' again. 

Sad and vicious truth, In a way that after all this time, all the money and effort wasted.

In the end, the promises and all the happy moments will only become a sad memory.

The question is... How will you stop this cycle? or I don't want this to happen to me, What do i do?

The answer is, "Guard your heart, always"

My 4th year adviser told me that on the day i told him about my ex, way back when we weren't official couples though we are hanging out.  

You see, people these days tends to say  Dude, Love is blind. Even if that person is a foul beast, a drug dealer or a psycho, I still love them because.. I don't know.

I know, Love is not a fallacy, It's not Logic or rocket science.

Though, Love is a choice. 

You didn't love that person because you don't know why... and your heart beats crazy and stuff, You love that person because you choose to love that person.

Life is of the choices you make or rather decisions you make... whatever. 

If you don't want to be in this cycle, then don't that's a choices. Love is not a vicious. It's one of the most beautiful things in this world that we have to cherish, Some would just take advantage of it.

Another thing, People will not make us happy, It is always us who makes yourself happy. It is always our choice.... because we have freedom. :)

A freedom that God gave us. :)

So always guard your heart, treat people with brotherly and sisterly love, don't be afraid to wait because there is so much that God can offer to you and

 be happy... because this is reason why he gave us freedom. This is how he loves us.

Romans 5:8 ;But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Read More

The term "Break up"

 (That fu**ed up moment, Tears me up inside when i remember)

The term "Break Up", Is most likely to be the most dramatic, traumatic and Heartbreaking word we will ever hear in most points of relationships, specially when you are the person who is most concerned if this relationship. Although some people doesn't really give a damn about this (Specially does who aren't really serious about commitment), but you can't really say that it doesn't really hurt most specially when you cared so much for the person or you've really committed your self to this to the person (Or, You've developed feelings for that person)

The phrase " How do you say goodbye without hurting someone/any one" stuck in my mind before. I'm this type of person who constantly falls in love and consistently falling out. It's like i always play the game of risks, committing everything to this damn game and afterwards, lose. It's like making the most stupid bet of my life. It kinda sucks that i actually never won anything from this game but i almost thought that i won't get tired of playing such retarded game of love. Ergo, We must take it in mind that "Love" is not logic. No matter how much you use your brain to strategies, research on how to develop a better relationship and practicing all of these things, It won't matter because in this game... The word "Change" is inevitable and the only way to resolve this is constant adjustment and acceptance.

Most lovers, (Especially in High school and most college student) tends to break up after months or years of their relationship. Even if they are really compatible or really meant for each other, i guess the element of "Preparedness' is needed. Most of people who are attached to someone only wants a relationship because;

• It is something in trend or because most people have relationship.
• Pity (Because the one courting you has waited for you for years and it's kinda pityful to dump him/her or he/she is a friend)
• You're only attracted to the person.
• It's sad being lonely.

And so much more, but in my perspective... I think the only valid reason why people should be in a relationship because " In this world we are about 6.8 billion people in this world, and all of us are called individual, We are all here but it feels so lonely, after all we are strangers and there is a fact there is such fact that No man is an island, It is kind of a nice feeling to know that in that 6.8 billion population there is one person who is actually that person who is willing to accept and adjust for you just to be with you untill you both die." Well this is from my perspective, I'm not really a fan of Destiny or faith, but i simply believe that life has so much to offer to everyone of us and one of these offer is having someone who'll appreciate you for you. I know this is apart of me that shouts out my human satisfactory, and i know everyone of us also wants to feel and to obtain such. Even if you had your self a self-proclaimed "Forever alone" or someone who simply shuts their door in the opportunity of romance just because you don't have time or your scared of commitment, I'm not against in what ever but Love is something life offers. It is something incredible, something beautiful that even when you fall down and break, it remains beautiful because you learned something from it. It is the experiences that makes life worth living and magical. It is a fulfillment and what more fulfilling is the thought of sharing this with someone.

The term "Break up" is something heart breaking, Hope losing and dramatic.Although this type of drama will always be present. But if you appreciate all the things in life, even through the bad ones. You'll find up the term Break up isn't that bad after all. Even if it hurts at first you still learn, stand up and choose to love and to live life. 

Life is all about the choices we make in our lives.Everything that happens in your life are all results if your choices. Even through the good or bad results you must learn to appreciate and adjust. Because this is how you must love life. This is how you must love. By this, When you learn to appreciate life, Learn to adjust and be humble. Then i can say that you are ready to Love again.

Love, 

Chiya

Acknowledgements:

Starbucks;SM Fairview 2nd floor.

- for letting me stay and drink almost 2 venti cups of Iced Coffee americano with White cream! Which is nice btw. Highly recommended to all who searches for something strong,yet light and sugary. Great for cooping with stress and for self pleasure. (Only for 150. Venti sized though [ A.N; I am a coffee addict and you can almost see me through any cafe shop in the city])

Read More